


Amour

by Marinatedchildren



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Beauxbatons, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Cute, F/M, Feminism, Flirty, Fluff and Humor, Forbidden Forest, French Sirius Black, Funny, Hogwarts, LGBTQ, Love, M/M, Mama bear James, Marauders, Marauders era, Moony - Freeform, Padfoot - Freeform, Peter being jokes, Pining, Prongs - Freeform, Triwizard Tournament, Werewolf, Wormtail - Freeform, headcannons included, jily, marlene being an icon, sarcastic remus, slowburn, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marinatedchildren/pseuds/Marinatedchildren
Summary: A French Sirius is visiting Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament, but w h o the fuck is that dirty blonde Gryffindor boy!?A short lil wolfstar fic
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 33





	1. Un

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the shitty French, Google translate ily <3

"Sommes-nous prêts?" Are we ready? 

The class of 40 were all filing into a large, pegasus drawn carriage, undetectable extension charm making more than enough space. The annual Triwizard Tournament was due to commence the following week, held at Hogwarts this year. 

Sirius sat himself next to Charlotte Abreo, a pretty brunette girl who he had spoken to a few times. Despite being a pretty popular guy, none of his 'main' friends had been chosen to participate, after all, winning was everything for beauxbatons. 

Visiting Hogwarts was going to be strange, though. The Blacks were originally an England based family, Slytherin enthusiasts, pureblood maniacs, but after an incident involving Sirius' grandmother Melania McMallan, they were forced to relocate. His mother refused to tell him what happened, only that France was the best place for him, like she cared what happened with him. 

The carriage took flight a few minutes later, the soft greens and yellows faded away, consumed by a haze, the smells of fresh bread replaced with the salt of the North Atlantic. The ride was no longer than a few hours, not that Sirius knew, he had fallen asleep ten minutes in. 

"Se lever!" Charlotte groaned beside him, poking the top of his head. _Get up_!. 

"Hmm?" He blinked around the room, multiple Charlotte's blending back into one, "Sommes-nous là?" _Are we there?_

"Non tu t'es endormi sur moi," She raised an eyebrow. _No you fell asleep on me._

"Quel chanceux étes-vous" He grinned, rubbing his forehead. _Lucky you_. 

"Prick" She said under her breath, looking out the window. She knew he wasn't being legit though, Sirius was as straight as a circle, not that he tried to hide it. 

"Je comprends l'anglais aussie, tu sais" Sirius scoffed, holding a hand to his heart. _I understand English too, you know_.

"Je sais" She got up, walking out the door. _I know_. 

"Donc nous sommes ici!?" He rolled his eyes, grabbing his uniform to change. _So we are here!?_

Beauxbatons uniform was very blue. Light, to be exact, flowing robes of carolina over a white oxford shirt, navy tie and navy slacks for the boys, girls with a carolina skirt. Sirius could tolerate most of it, but he wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of navy slacks, so he substituted them for a pair of blue jeans. "Still blue" He would say to his teachers, not that they ever dared to write to Orion and Walburga Black. 

Exiting the carriage and walking out onto the grounds, Sirius looked around the castle. It was big. Cobblestone towers stretched into the sky and vegetation-filled forests stretched for miles on end. A glossy lake lay still to his left, though he could have sworn he saw a tentacle. 

"Madame Maxine, how lovely to see you again!" A strange man spoke from the front of their little huddle, he had awfully long hair. Not that Sirius could say anything, his tied into a little bun on the back of his head. 

"Ah, Dumbledore! Thank you for having us!" The headmistress replied, embracing the man in return, despite the immense size difference. 

Looking around her towering form, Sirius got a glance at some of the students that were peaking out of castle windows, most wearing yellow. "Scufflepuffs or something" He assumed, not really having payed attention on the flight here. 

"If everyone would like to follow me, you have arrived just in time for dinner!" Dumbledore smiled, waving his arms towards the entrance, two huge wooden doors that opened on command. 

The castle was made up of stone walls and deep red carpeting, moving portraits, their acrylic eyes following your every movement. There was another set of oak doors to the left, leading into a tremendous hall, four tables lined up in unison; green, yellow, blue and red. 

The cluster of Beauxbaton students walked down the centre of the room, a line of girls and a line of boys, heads high and eyes determined, waving occasionally. 

When they had reached the front, Dumbledore addressed the school, "Hogwarts, I expect you all to treat our guests with the utmost respect, as I'm sure you will. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, we are going to be distributing them around your dorms, seeing as you have the most available space and they will be sitting in on our lessons until the tournament has ceased, now please, let's meet our friends! Prefects, please come and direct them to your tables!" 

Sirius just looked around in confusion, but he didn't have to wait long until a redheaded girl approached him through the crowd. 

"Hiya! I'm Lily Evans" She held her hand out, but being the gentleman he is, Sirius held it up to his face. 

"Sirius Black" He replied, accent impending, kissing her knuckles briefly.

"Right, uh f-follow me" She said, slightly put out, walking away from him. 

She led him over to end of the red table, sitting by a blonde girl who started smirking at her.

Sirius sat down next to Lily, she was the one who brought him here after all. There was a messy haired boy to his left who looked at him intrigued. 

"Eh, bonjour?" The boy said, failing miserably at a french accent, "Mwah James Potter" 

"Salut, James" Sirius laughed, at least he was trying. "I am Sirius Black" 

Almost immediately after he said this, someone sat opposite him spat his drink all over James' robes.

Sirius looked over at the person and..... _damn_. 

"Merlin, sorry mate" He coughed. His hair was a dirty blonde and had a peculiar scar across his nose. He looked awfully rough, but spoke with a certain dignity that Sirius admired. 

"You prick, Moony! I was doing French with Sirius! Completely ruined my flow, you have." James wailed, patting down his chest for his wand. 

"And what flow was that, Potter?" Lily chimed in from Sirius' other side. 

"Oh you just couldn't help not listening to my French, Evans, turn you on does it? Would you say yes if I asked you out in French?" 

"You are repulsive!" She gasped, turning back to her other friends.

"tactiques éstranges" Sirius mumbled to himself, looking at the smiling James. _Strange tactics_. 

Weirdly though, the scarred boy was now full on staring at him, Sirius was about to say something when voice interrupted. 

"I'm Peter!" He said, "Is France like, hot and stuff" 

"Peter!?" James gasped, mimicking Lily's previous actions, "You can't just ask if someones country is 'hot and stuff'!"

"That's not offensive!" Peter replied. 

"It is not" Sirius interrupted, accent noticeably present, looking at Peter, "Et Oui, very- eh- hot"

"See James! Very hot!" Peter said, flinging a green bean across the table.

"I'm not a bloody plate! Can people please stop discarding their meals on me?"

Lily then proceeded to get up and balance a bread roll on his head, as did her blonde friend. 

"I'm Marlene by the way" She winked, walking back to her seat. 

"Anyways" James said, sighing, "Moony, introduce yourself to our guest"

"Shit, sorry" He looked back at Sirius again, stopping momentarily, "I- uh I'm Remus" 

James inhaled sharply, "You should also be sorry for that foul mouth!"

"Bonjour, Remus" Sirius smirked, ignoring James. Remus looked ready to throw up. 

"So, was it a nice ride over?" Marlene asked from her spot, having to lean into the table. 

"Oui, uhh quel est le mot?" _Yes, uh what's the word?_ "Pardon" _Sorry_. 

He looked around the hall for Charlotte, she was good with English. Spotting her at Ravenclaw table he shouted, "Charlotte, comment dire agréable en anglais!" _Charlotte, how do you say pleasant in English!_

She turned around angrily, apologising to the boy on her left, then responded fiercely, "Je ne suis pas ton traductuer!" _I am not your translator!_

"S'il vous plaît!" He whined. _Please_! 

"Pleasant!" She shouted towards James. 

"Pleasant!" Sirius smiled triumphantly, looking back at a laughing Marlene. 

"I'm glad" She snorted, eyes lingering on Charlotte for a brief second.

"Wait, so you can understand, but not speak English?" James cocked his head. 

"I speak some" Sirius pinched his fingers together for scale, "but yes I know what you say"

"Maybe we can get you a translation charm?" Remus said, finding his voice again. 

"Yes Moony! This is why we are friends you smart nougat!" James pointed his fork across at him.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment..." Remus flicked the fork away just before Dumbledore started to speak.

"I do hope you enjoyed the meal! Beauxbatons students if you could please follow the house you are sat with up to the dormitories, Prefects will sort your sleeping arrangements!" He then clapped, banishing all the food. 

"We've a spare bed in our dorm!" Peter said, standing up. 

"Yeah, come stay with us if you want!" James agreed, Remus nodded wearily.

"Thank you" Sirius smiled, also standing up. 

"You get to wear jeans as your uniform!?" Lily sighed, tugging down her skirt. 

"No" He smirked, pointing at one of the boys across the hall who was wearing slacks, then back at himself, "Comfier"

"I like you already" James put his arm around Sirius' shoulders, directing him out the hall


	2. Deux

"Okay, so you sleep here!" James pointed at the bed by the far end of the room.

"Okay" Sirius dropped his bag on the red covers, that's the thing about Gryffindor tower, it was very red. Red sofa's, red bed sheets, Red tapestries... 

"Avez-vouz une douche?" _have you got a shower?_

"Err..." James looked at him blankly, then over to Remus, "What did he say, Moony?"

"How am I supposed to know!?" He replied quickly, then spoke towards Sirius, "Can you uh- act it out?" 

"Er" Sirius thought for a moment then raised his hands, bringing them down while shaking his fingers in a water motion, "Douche" _shower_.

"Shower?"

"Yes!" he grinned, nodding his head. 

"Oh okay, it's through there" Remus pointed at a pair of doors by the entrance.

"Thank you" Sirius walked confidently over to one of the doors, opening it, a broom falling onto his head, "Merde!" _Shit_!

"No, uh, that's the utility cupboard, this door is the bathroom" Remus held another open, pursing his lips in an attempt not to laugh. James and Peter weren't as considerate. 

"Don't scratch my broom!" James wheezed. 

"Une bite inconsidéréé aurait pu ruiner mes cheveux" Sirius muttered to himself, entering the right room. _Inconsiderate prick, could've ruined my hair._

In all fairness, the bathroom was a lot less Gryffindor-ry, white tiles and two silver shower heads on the right, red towels though. Sirius threw his clothes down at the foot of the shower, it was a flat floor but surely they had encasement charms? 

Apparently not. 

"Putain de saké!" His robes were soaked through, as was his shirt. _Fuck sake!_

Meanwhile in the dormitory

"So, French guy huh?" Peter said from his bed. 

"What!? No way!? Where!" Remus replied, looking around the room. 

"Shove off, Moony, I was summing up the situation" 

"Well yes Peter, thank you for that necessary summation" He rolled his eyes. 

"Ignore him Pete, you know how he gets after the full moon," James sighed. It was true though, full moon being last night, Remus was very agitated most of the time. 

"Sorry" Remus groaned, looking at Peter sympathetically. 

"It's alright" Peter smiled back. 

They were all silent for a few minutes when a string of angry French curses came from the bathroom. 

"Someones happy" Remus grimaced, not that he would mind if- _No_

"D'ya reckon i should check on him...?" James frowned, looking at the closed door. 

"Nah, he probably did the clothes thing you did in first year" Peter snorted at the memory. 

On their first night, James had gone to use the shower, leaving his clothes on floor as Sirius did. Highly amused, Peter and Remus left him there until his clothes had dried, keeping him in by saying Lily was sat outside the door. Remus did have to put on his best female voice, but it seemed to work well enough. 

"Stop that! Stop reminiscing!" James shouted, throwing a pillow at Peter's head, "Remus, tell him to shut up!" 

Remus didn't reply, he couldn't reply. Sirius had just walked out fucking shirtless. 

"Your- er" Sirius tried to remember what they had called it...shooter? No...that's not right, "Your 'showar' has ruined my clothes!" He threw the wet robes on the ground. 

"We have sheeelves" James sounded out, waving his arms gracefully in the air. 

Remus looked over at James, how was he so unbothered by the lack of clothing, this is not normal, he can't just walk in here shirtless like it's his house!

"You have other shirts right?" Remus coughed, avoiding eye contact. 

"Oui" Sirius grumbled, rubbing a towel over his wet hair. 

_Stop it Remus, look away, he doesn't go hat way, oh wow history of magic, how cool- oh but look at those ab- fucking shit fuck STOP._

Remus finally spun towards the wall, settling down with his charms book, flicking through the pages until he came to a stop at one, National translation 55-56. 

"Hey, here's that translation spell if you want to try it?" Remus turned around, please be dressed, please be dressed- oh phew. 

"hmm?" Sirius looked up from unpacking his things, making direct eye contact. 

_Don't look at me oh Merlin oh Merlin_ "The er t-translation thing uh it's well, uh here if you er want it?" He stammered, holding the book up. 

"Ah, Merci!" He walked over, taking the book from Remus' hands. _Fucking hell the accent, just kill me now_. "eh, I cannot read this." 

"Well obviously not" Remus scoffed, only registering how rude that was after he said it. 

"Fucking hell- shit- I mean- darn it, I'm sorry that was so-" But he stopped apologising after seeing the actual bloody grin on Sirius' face.

"Bouche sâle" Sirius smirked, walking backwards towards his bed. _Dirty mouth_. "Qui vous ménera a des entroits dangereux" _That will get you dangerous places._

I suppose one of the perks of speaking a different language was nobody really knew what you were saying. He could use that to his advantage. 

"What does-? Let me see.." Remus looked down into the textbook, searching for the French to English incantation. "Okay, here pull out your wand" 

Sirius did, looking at Remus expectantly.

"Point it at your throat, here" Remus tapped his own neck, "Say, transluto l'anglaisium" 

"transluto l'anglaisium!" Sirius spoke, expecting a change but nothing happened. 

"Say something then!" James chimed in, having watched this entire exchange.

"er, Dumbledore ressemble à un gremlin à côté de ma directrice" They all sat patiently for a few seconds, when Sirius' wand started to make noise. 

"er, Dumbledore looks like a gremlin next to my headmistress" It spoke in his voice, accent gone. 

"That's brilliant!" Peter gasped, leaving the bathroom. He then looked over at James, who was wheezing. 

"Okay well that sorts the language issue, what was it you said a minute ago?" Remus pried, speaking up over James' laughs. 

"Qui sait" Sirius grinned, shrugging his shoulders, "Who knows" 

"No but-" 

"bonne nuit!" He waved, drawing the curtains on his bed, "Good night!"

"BONJOUUUUUR!?" James yelled at the curtains the next morning. "GET UP YOU LAZY GIT!" 

"Laisse-moi dormir ou je vais baiser ton père, morceau de merde!" Sirius shouted back, completely forgetting his translation charm was still active, "Let me sleep or I will fuck your father, you piece of shit!"

There was a brief silence before Remus completely deceased, "Oh- my- Merlin- I can't breathe- I need oxygen" 

Sirius pulled back the curtain and smiled sheepishly at James, he was grinning though, mouth open in shock. Thank fuck. 

"Désolé pour ça..." He exhaled, "Sorry about that..."

"No worries" James said, looking very amused, "We have breakfast in thirty minutes though, and it's a ten minute walk at least."

"cette école est incroyablement grande" Sirius rolled his eyes, "This school is impractically big" 

"Yes well we have to work off the feast somehow," James threw Sirius'- now dry - uniform at him, "Won't loose you wearing this!" 

"ah j'ai un plan pour ça" He smirked, eyeing a pair of black jeans. "Ah I have a plan for that" 

Following his eye line, James noticed the pair of jeans and decided to just not ask. 

"ARE WE GOING OR WHAT!?" Peter shouted up the stairs from the common room. 

"J'ai besoin de dix minutes" Sirius got up and walked towards the bathroom, "I need ten minutes"

"TEN MINUTES, PETE!" James shouted back down the stairs. 

Exactly nine minutes later, Sirius emerged; black Jeans, white Oxford shirt and black sneakers on. The only actual piece of distinguishable uniform being the blue robes he picked up at the door. 

"dois porter un peu de bleu" He grimaced, looking at the flowing fabric, "Got to wear a little blue" 

"So how long are you staying anyway?" James asked as they walked down the dormitory stairs. 

"Un mois je présume" Sirius shrugged, "A month I presume" 

"Yeah, the first task is this weekend" Remus supplied, "They're picking people at dinner" 

"Postulez-vous?" "Are you applying?" 

"Me?" Remus snorted "Merlin, no!" 

"I am, eternal glory sound like something I should aim towards, y'know?" James said. 

"Oui" Sirius laughed "Yes" 

"I would probably die in the first task" Peter shrugged, joining the trio as they left Gryffindor tower. 

"Merlin, Peter!" James gasped. 

"raison valable cependant..." Sirius said, slowly. "Valid reason though..."

"Pettigrew would get stuck in the door," A senile sounding voice said behind them. 

Visibly tensing, James turned around, "Fuck off, Snivellus" 

"Can't handle the truth, Potter, or has the foreigner already softened you up" The boy spat, looking at Sirius like he was something off the bottom of his shoe. 

Sirius leaned into Remus' side, "qui est ce gars?" He scoffed "Who is this guy?"

"Severus Snape, he's in Slytherin and we don't really get on" Remus answered, both of them talking in hushed voices. 

"Je pourrais marteler ton visage dans ta belette!" Sirius shouted back at Severus, smirking. "I could pound your face in you weasel!" 

"No, I duel like a sophisticated person! Take your rough housing back to France!"

"Vous savez ce qui est drôle, j'ai vu des petits pains plus petits que votre nez, alors je vois pourquoi ça doit être si difficile de le garder hors des affaires des autres, essayez cependant?" Sirius laughed, "You know what's funny, I have seen bread rolls smaller than your nose, so I see why it must be hard to keep it out of others business, do try though?"

"Like I would want to know your business" Snape scoffed. 

"oui bien sûr, je ne veux pas que tu découvres que j'ai baisé ton père?" Sirius said, maliciously. "Ah yes, don't want you finding out I fucked your father, do we?"

Severus stared at him astoundedly for a moment, then looked around, huffing like a child and walked away. 

"Si ça aide, c'était un meilleur moment que ta mère!" Sirius shouted after him. "If it helps, he was a better time than your mother!"

"Hey Si- What happened?" Lily said as she walked towards the group a moment later, James was smiling, eyes full of mirth, Peter was looking at Sirius in adoration and Remus' mouth was hanging open. 

"Rien, hé je me demande si je peux trouver un petit déjeuner français ce matin?" Sirius put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into the great hall, but not before winking at a stunned Remus. "Nothing, hey I wonder if I can find a french breakfast this morning?"


	3. Trois

"You really have a thing for fucking fathers, don't you?" James observed as they left the great hall. 

"blâmez les problèmes de papa" Sirius shrugged, "Blame the daddy issues" 

"What's that?" Peter asked. 

"Nothing!" Remus said quickly, seeing the sparkle in James and Sirius' eyes, they were scarily similar. 

"Yeah well anyway, we've Potions first and Remus doesn't have a partner, so you can sit with him!" James offered as they walked down the steps to the dungeon. 

"Pourquoi tu n'as pas de partenaire?" Sirius turned to look at Remus, "Why don't you have a partner?"

"Oh- uh I guess-" Remus started before James cut in. 

"Because he's too bloody smart to have a partner, goes to quick!" 

"It's true, I was his partner in second year and he had finished before I got to cut my flobberworm!" Peter added, flinging his arms in the air. 

"Je vais essayer de suivre" Sirius smirked at a red Remus. "I will try to keep up" 

The four of them walked into the busy potions room, they shared this lesson with the Ravenclaws. It was a very dark place, much like the rest of the dungeons, dim greens placed around the Head of Slytherins classroom was no surprise. Charlotte was in this class as well, she had sat herself next to Marlene McKinnon at the front, the two of them were talking animatedly. 

"Right everyone, you know how it goes, please direct our guests!" Slughorn boomed from the front of the room. 

"Fuck, I forgot about this!" Remus exclaimed from his seat beside Sirius, "You have to- er give him your wand.."

"Quel!?" Sirius gripped his wand tighter. "What!?"

"Yeah, it's so you don't cheat or something" 

"la foutaise" He grumbled, leaning back on his chair. "Bullshit"

"Chairs have four legs for a reason Mr- uh" The Professor looked at Remus.

"Black" 

Slughorn seemed to falter for a second, look more carefully at Sirius, "Right, well Mr Black , wand away please" 

"comment suis-je censé parler?" Sirius dropped back onto four legs, "How am I supposed to talk?"

"We are here to brew potions, not talk!" 

"chienne" he grumbled as Remus quickly burried Sirius' wand in his bag, recognising that word from the wet clothing incident. Bitch. 

"I will look after it Professor!" 

He nodded at Remus,"We are doing a revisional draught of peace, please!" 

"Does he think we are- qeul est la mot..... le stupide?" Sirius scoffed, his accent coating all the English words. _What's the word....stupid?_

"I-" _accent accent accent accent accent_ "Just have to uh prove him wrong, eh?" Remus laughed awkwardly, handing over his Potions book. 

"Mm" Sirius agreed, looking at Remus sheepishly, "er, I cannot read this fast"

"Oh shit, I forgot I'm sorry" He took the book back, punching himself internally. 

"Can you go out loud?" Sirius pointed at the cover. 

"Wh- sorry, what" Remus' eyes widened as his voice cracked. 

"lis" Sirius laughed. _read_. 

Remus looked at him blankly and Sirius sighed, "Can you go out loud?" He opened the front of the book.

"Oh! Read?" 

"Yes!" 

"Okay, lets see uh , The draught of peace is, when brewed correctly, a potion enducing happiness...." 

Sirius watched Remus as he talked, the way his eyes thinned over tricky words, how he bit his lip when turning the page. To be fair, he had stopped listening after the word draught, much more interested in the sounds than the words, because to Sirius, he wasn't the one with an accent. 

_I'm wasting my time, a guy like that would never get with me, he probably has some leather diary with all the names of people waiting to fuck him..._

_What am I saying!? I'm Sirius mother fucking Black, the sexiest French man to ever set foot in England! I can-_

"...Do you understand?" Remus said, probably wondering why Sirius had gone all glossy eyed. 

"Quel?" Sirius jumped, image of him walking through the streets of London while everyone bowed down gone. "Oh, er yes" 

"Okay then, let's get started!" Remus got up to find the ingredients. A few minutes later he came back and dropped them all on the desk. 

"er, okay..." Sirius looked at all the bits and pieces, they were labelled differently than back in France. _I really should have payed attention, fucking shit crap_..........

 _yolo_. 

So, completely free handing it, Sirius started dumping random colours and textures into the cauldron as Remus was turned, asking for a knife from the people behind them. 

"What the fuck are you doing!" Remus exclaimed, looking back at the desk. 

"Peace!" Sirius grinned, pouring a dark liquid in. 

"That's my ink you dumbass!" Remus lunged forward for the glass container, but as Sirius moved at the same time, just ended up splashing ink over Sirius' face. 

"putain de chienne de merde!" Sirius shouted, eternally gratefull his wand was being muffled by Remus' bag. _fucking shit bitch!_

Remus was trying extremely hard not to laugh, Sirius had a massive ink stain on his cheek, that he was just smudging around in attempts to clean it off. 

"You're making it worse you know" Remus pursed his lips, Sirius looked near to tears with panic. 

"Tu as taché mon beau visage!" Sirius cried, picking up a bag of tea leaves and throwing them at Remus. _You stained my beautiful face!_

"Don't angry-french me! You were the one who was putting quill ink in a draught of peace!" 

"Tu étais celui qui me distrait avec tout ton anglais chaud!" Sirius was very dependant on the fact Remus couldn't understand him. _You were the one distracting me with all your hot English!_

"I literally know nothing you are saying right now" Remus said blankly, _he probably just called me an ugly whore or something......What if he fucks my dad..._

"Don't sleep with my father!" Remus added, pointing at Sirius, eyes wide in fright. 

Sirius cackled at that, _wrong one-_

"Everything alright over here?" Slughorn interrupted, tutting at the state of Sirius, "Mr Lupin, get Mr Black a cloth please!" 

"Yes sir" Remus rolled his eyes, _he's not incompetent, 'get him a cloth'...HAH! he should be getting ME a cloth! for- errr- for THINGS!_

Remus walked back over, green towel in hand, death glaring at the back of the Professors head. _Dumb professor, might as well be mixing cake ingredients for a living._

"Merci" Sirius grabbed the towel, starting to scrub his face viciously. 

Remus looked on in amusement, he was missing the spot entirely, not to mention the towel was still dry. 

"You're going to break out if you keep scrubbing your face like thaaat...." Remus sung, moving ink around the table with his quill. 

Sirius stopped immediately, looking at the other in horror, "QUEL!?" _WHAT!?_

"Well" Remus sighed, " You have to wet the towel for it to actually do anything Einstein, and your missing completely." 

"Agh! you do then!" Sirius dropped the fabric in front of Remus, sitting down. 

Remus' eyes widened when he actually registered what Sirius had just said, _I am not touching your face, I am not stable enough for that yet, no way, nope nope, you can think- oh but his skin looks so soft.....I can manage._

"Okay," Remus said, pouring a glass of water over the towel. 

Sirius sat back in his chair, _he said yes, he wasn't supposed to say yes, I didn't prepare for this, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE MOISTURIZED THIS MORNING, dumb dumb dumb!_

Remus grabbed just under Sirius' chin and pulled his face to the side, wiping off the ink in around three minutes, well two minutes but he could have sworn there was more....

_someone kill me, his neck is so hot, how can a neck be hot...oh but it is, shit shit shit, think of nasty things, distract yourself, uhhh OLD PEOPLE.......Sirius uses insults about old people a lot doesn't he...yeah Sirius who's neck is right below my hand.....STOP- UHHH PETER IN A TUTU!......._

_Hey it worked._

Sirius was forced to look towards the other side of the classroom _. He just grabbed the top of my fucking neck, I am about to disintegrate, rest in peace Sirius Black, cause of death: sexy Englishman grabbing my neck. I need to calm down, think of a turn off uhhh.......ooo I know, heterosexuality!_

_Hey it worked._

"uh, there you go" Remus coughed, looking around the classroom. 

If he had looked a little further to the left, he would have seen the top half of James' head looking up from behind his table. 

"James, what the actual fuck are you doing!?" Peter exclaimed, sick of having to do this potion all by himself, "You look like a right twat crouched down on the ground!" 

"Investigating" James whispered, bringing his hand in the air to block out Peter's face, then in one quick motion, turning a finger to point down next to him. 

Peter rolled his eyes but knelt down, following James' eyeline towards Sirius and Remus. 

"Is Remus trying to strangle him or something.....?" Peter creased his brows, "doing a shabby job of it, he can still breathe-" 

"-he is not trying to strangle him Peter!" James whisper-shouted. 

"Well his hand is round his throat! What else am I supposed to interpret that as!?" 

"Flirting" James grinned, eyes turning manic for a millisecond, but long enough to scare Peter. 

"Nope! No I am not letting you do this again! You know what happened with Aaron Michales!" 

Peter was referring to an incident that happened at the start of 5th year, Remus had just come out to the guys, admitting to a crush he had on the Hufflepuff seeker. James being James obviously wanted to set them up, Remus had shut this down, saying he didn't even know if the bloke was gay. 

James being James also meant that he thought he knew best, so also decided to investigate. 

_"Hey Aaron! You would fuck a guy right?" James had asked in the changing rooms that evening._

_"What!" The seeker replied, side eyeing the room full of half naked men._

_"Like, if you got a note saying 'Hey let's blow eachother behind the greenhouses!" would you say no?"_

_"What the fuck...." Frank Longbottom said, slowly closing his locker._

_"hypothetically of course" James nodded at the group of people now staring._

"I am not going do _that_ again!" James rolled his eyes, breaking Peter out of the flashback. 

"Still, just let Moony figure this out" 

"Ugh fine" James grumbled, plonking cross legged on the ground.


	4. Quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, my French is horrific I know, many apologies of you're French for me butchering your beautiful language.

Potions finished up nicely, Remus managed to get the draught of peace under control--after a lot of images with Peter in a tutu--and James _actually_ managed to contain himself. They were supposed to have Charms next, but Dumbledore had sent round a patronus, telling all the students to gather in the great hall. 

"I bet this is about the goblet of fire" Marlene suggested as her and Sirius walked down a corridor, the other boys had forgotten they actually needed next periods books and had to run back to get them. Now it was just Sirius and Marlene. 

"moins de leçons, mieux c'est" Sirius shrugged. "Less lessons the better"

"J'ai besoin de te parler de quelque chose" Marlene sighed, taking Sirius off guard with the perfect French. _I need to talk to you about something._

"Oui...?" Sirius replied, surprised, he also muttered _finite_ switching off the translation charm. _Yes....?_

"Alors tu es gay?" She studied him, _Imagine if he's not, might as well launch myself off the astronomy tower. You are gay right?_

"vous avez un bon œil pour un débutant" He laughed. _You have a good eye for a beginner._

"Oh je suis désolé, qu'est-ce que tu es? Le Dieu des gays? Mes excuses le prophète Sirius" She mock-bowed. _Oh I'm sorry, what are you? The God of the gays? My apologies prophet Sirius._

"Escusé" He waved her off. _Excused._

 _"_ mais pour de vrai, pouvons-nous aimer nous sentir ou quelque chose?" Marlene questioned, stopping the two of them just outside the great hall. _But for real, can we like sense each other._

Sirius looked at her knowingly, "Quest-ce?" _Who is it._

"Arrête ça! dis-moi juste comment tu, tu sais, sais!" She hit his chest. _Stop that! Just tell me how you, y'know, know._

 _"_ bien comment as-tu su pour moi?" He asked, patting her head. _Well how did you know about me?_

"oh je vous ai vu vous et Remus ce matin monsieur 'vous le faites alors' " She winked. _Oh I saw you and Remus this morning, Mr "you do it then"._

"Faire cheir" He scoffed. _Piss off._

The pair walked into the great hall, most of the students had lined themselves against the walls, blue's red's and yellow's blending voluntarily, greens huddled territorially. Sirius looked around, trying to spot someone in particular. 

"Charlotte!" He called over the crowds of people, the brunette swinging her ponytail to look at him. 

Her expression softened slightly when she noticed who he was with. 

"Bonjour encour" She nodded at Marlene, smiling. _Hello again._

 _"_ Salut" Marlene breathed back, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

Sirius looked between them, smirking "Oups, il y a James, au reviour!" _Oops, there is James, bye!_ and he left them to their own devices.

Sirius wasn't lying, the boys had just walked in the hall, along with Dumbledore and a man he did not recognise. 

"Hello!" Sirius bounded over, flicking James in the nose, trying out some English for once. 

"Gah!" James jumped, hitting Peter in the face.

"What did I do!?" Peter exclaimed, holding his forehead.

"I thought it was you that snuck up on me!" 

"He literally walked in with us" Remus looked at James, concerned.

"Sorry if I'm a little discombobulated after being _brutally_ attacked!" James rounded on Sirius, "What do you have to say for yourself!"

"Eh- Sorry, no English" Sirius smirked, not even trying to look innocent.

"Bloody languages! Dividers of our nations! I will embark on a bloody _pilgrimage_ in search of the one true form of speech! I will-"

"Mr. Potter" Dumbledore coughed, gesturing to the silent room, "Can me and headmaster Dippet continue please?"

James went a magnificent shade of red and apologised briefly, finally sitting down with everyone else. Sirius and Remus were also sat next to each other, knees touching, neither was acknowledging it enough to pull away...Well....Sirius wasn't.

 _His knee is touching my knee,_ Remus thought, _what does that mean!? probably nothing, perhaps his knee cap is cold....Or he is trying to send a covert signal along the lines of 'Remus I want to take you out this weekend' God, someone, send me a sign...._

_Not lightning though, that's scary as fuck._

_Shit,_ _can I say fuck talking to God.....?_

Though, Sirius' mind was on something else entirely, _Who even is that guy with Dumbledore!? I'm literally going to give him a mental makeover, heaven knows he needs it..._

_Firstly, shave that joke of a beard off, honestly looks like pubes. Animal skin was so 1960, get some boot cut jeans and a crew neck, your a headmaster not a prostitute doing neanderthal role play. Ugh I want to twease your eyebrows so bad, maybe just a little off the bottom, get that knock-off count Dracula look going for you. Who even-_

"I know you're all wondering who this is," Dumbledore cut in, gesturing to the man beside him, "Headmaster Dippet and his students of Durmstrang will be joining us at Hogwarts, as of this evening, our third party in the Triwizard Tournament!"

A few scattered murmurs went around the hall. 

"Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, you will be accommodating them!"

Despite what you would've expected, Slytherin didn't seem at all bothered by this, in fact, they almost seemed to welcome the idea.

Maybe because it was no secret that Durmstrang had almost identical views on blood purity, muggles cannot be magical, keep the lines pure _blah blah blah_. 

It's a surprise Sirius wasn't sent there instead, but that is a story, frankly, he couldn't care less about.

A strange bang interrupted Sirius' thoughts, followed by another and another and-

The door to the hall swung open, a small herd of identically dressed boys strutted in, red coats and ferret skinned scarfs around their necks.

"Welcome!" Dumbledore boomed, arms spreading wide beside himself.

They all nodded at the same time, expressionless.

"This is like watching Peter and his multiple personas talk to a female" James observed, sticking his head between Remus and Sirius'.

"Hey!" Peter cried, slapping James on the head, "First you assault me physically, and now verbally!"

"The truth hurts, little one" Remus blindly grabbed the air behind him, latching onto Peter's hand briefly.

"Pricks" Peter grumbled, snatching his hand away.

"......Now, if everyone who is over the age of 15 that would like to participate, would come and grab a piece of paper." Dumbledore announced, the boys having missed the start of his speech, _probably just some lame rules._

"Wait, you're doing it!?" Remus exclaimed as Sirius went to stand. _Why am_ _I_ _worried,_ _I_ _shouldn't be worried, I've known him like half a week, pull yourself together!_

"Yes" Sirius laughed, "I am not on the holiday here"

"Oh right, of course, got it, goooot it!" Remus clapped his hands together, "go write that name, haha!" _Remus Lupin what the fuck are you doing, stop talking you sound like you just did class A drugs, oh my god._

Sirius and James both got up and walked towards the teachers table, they grabbed some paper and wrote their names down, James' messy scrawl falling off the sides of the sheet.

"The fuck do we do with these?" James deadpanned, putting weight on one leg while popping his hip.

As if on que, a flash of white smoke appeared in the centre of the hall, clearing to reveal a stone plated goblet, but make it ten times bigger. There was a blue flame poking out the top of it, almost bewitching in the way it moved.

"err in there?" Sirius suggested, looking at what everyone else seemed to be doing.

James nodded and the two of them dropped their names in. Turning around, Sirius went to walk back to their seat, when something caught his eye.

_Who the fuck is that sat with Remus._

One of the Durmstrang boys had approached him, sitting down on the ground to his left, _Sirius' seat._ They were both talking merrily.

"Er, hello?" Sirius muttered, starting back towards the two.

"Hello" The Russian nodded.

Sirius just raised and eyebrow, looking him up and down, sizing him up.

"Oh uh, my apologies, I am Alexei Maxim" He raised a hand to shake

"Sirius Black" Sirius ignored the hand, sitting down on Remus' other side. 

"Right, err I'm gonna go find Pete!" James ran away, sensing the tension.

"So, Alexei was just telling me about how they got here" Remus said, drumming out an awkward beat on his leg.

"Peut-être une haie à l'envers par l'état de lui" Sirius grumbled, not bothering to reinstate the translation charm. _Perhaps a hedge backwards by the state of him._

"A boat!" Alexei completely misread Sirius, taking his passive aggressive French as a suggestion.

"We fly here, with the Pegasus" Sirius looked down at him, obviously implying he was more sophisticated.

"Ah, the earth is too much, no?" Alexei joked, side eyeing Remus for his reaction.

"Ohh this is...fun" Remus strained, wishing more than anything he could just melt into the ground, "Who wants to see James? I know I do!" he leapt up and left, leaving the two foreigners to look at eachother in annoyance.

Alexei looked like he was about to say something but Sirius just got up, tossing some hair behind his shoulder, "bien essayé" _nice try._


	5. Cinq

"Russian?" Sirius asked, everyone was leaving the great hall now, Care of Magical creatures next on their timetable. 

"Er, yes.." Remus replied, _He was gorgeous right!? Well not right, for you, as he doesn't have tits._

_Stupid anatomy._

"You, er- _enjoy_ time with him?" Sirius' eyes thinned, looking sideways at the other. 

"He's pretty muscular looking," Peter observed from their other side. 

Everyone's heads whipped around to look at Peter, they boy was still walking along merrily as if nothing had been said.

"We love you Peter!" James exclaimed, pulling the shorter one into a hearty hug. 

"Get off me you oversized infant!" Peter yelled, fighting away. 

Remus rolled his eyes, exhaling a sharp laugh at James' dramatics.

 _Fuck me, the sass, I can't feel my legs,_ Sirius was screaming internally, stood stoic. _I swear to hell I will blow up Russia._

"James I did not just come out!" Peter cried, still trying to pry himself free, "I just said he has muscles!"

"Peter, despite what you might think, you still have to use condoms okay?" James ignored Peter's last statement, stroking his head lovingly. 

"STOP!" Peter shouted, looking at the others in desperation. 

They were laughing.

_a lot._

Remus was leaning on the wall, holding his stomach with one hand, the other covering his mouth. Sirius was beside him, hands on his knees, having some sort of coughing fit. 

"I'm not even going to ask-" Lily said suspiciously, walking up to them slowly.

"TELL HIM I'M NOT GAY!" Peter yelled, desperate for some educated conversation. 

"James?" Lily sighed and almost immediately, he threw Peter on the ground. 

"Yes, love" He grinned, running a hand through his hair. 

"Peter is not Gay" 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY, WANKER!" James turned on Peter, throwing his arms in the air, "I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT SAFE SEX!" 

"I DID SAY, YOU WERE TOO BUSY CARESSING MY HEAD!" 

Remus choked on air, eyes going wide, _I hate you mind, just leave, that is innocent peter he meant his skull, oh my days everyone is looking at me, shit shit shit shit, fuck my life._

"What is funny" Sirius smirked, a knowing look in his eyes.

"Fuck off" Remus mumbled, looking back over to Peter, "And yes Peter, he does look like he has muscles" 

"THANK YOU!"

Sirius had stopped smirking now, a look of pure shock on his face. _YOU WANT MUSCLES HUH? I CAN GIVE YOU MUSCLES, OH AND HERE'S THE BONUS: WITHOUT THE RABIES AND STD'S!_

_I will blow up Russia._

But, as Sirius continued to imagine up hostile ways to explode the country, a pair of spying eyes burnt into the back of his head. 

Alexei Maxim stood at the end of the hall, hidden by the shadows of the corridor. 

"Lets just go to class" James grumbled, hoisting his bag back over his shoulder. 

"I wonder if they will bring some Creatures in to show everyone?" Lily asked, though James couldn't respond, too dumbstruck at the fact she was having a conversation around him. 

"As long as they aren't pygmy puffs" Remus whispered to himself, "The look like furry balls" 

Now it was everyone else's turn to choke on air. 

_I just said that out loud didn't I?_

_I think I would like a stone gravestone, nice and vintage, none of that gold shit. I definitely don't want to be cremated, I'll be burning enough in hell. Everyone in this corridor is banned from the funeral, I want to go in peace._

"Christ Remus!" Lily exclaimed, patting her heart. 

"Stone grave, no cremation" He deadpanned, walking into the classroom. 

The rest of them followed suit, taking their respective seats. _Seats_ being hay on the ground. 

"Everyone here?" The Professor spoke from the front of the room, his wooden legs giving him some height. 

"Yes" Half the class chorused back. They were sharing with the Hufflepuffs, which also meant the Durmstrang students. 

"Today I have a special surprise for you all!" He smiled, clapping his hands together, you could really tell he loved his job. "Jackalopes!"

Most of the room kept staring at the professor, blankly, but Sirius knew exactly what he was talking about. Jackalopes were little rabbits with great antlers on their heads, a common garden pet back in France, the Black family manor housed around 3 herds.

Soon enough, around twenty little animals came hopping out of a crate in the back of the room, scattering between students. 

One came right up to Sirius and jumped onto his leg, looking up at him expectantly. 

"que voulez-vous que vous améliorez le rongeur?" He grimaced, pushing the creature off with the tip of his index finger. _What do you want, upgraded rodent?_

It lowered its antlers, in some way pointing. 

Sirius followed its path, eyes finding Alexei. 

The Russian had got up from his seat and knelt down beside Remus, both of them examining a single Jackalope, _is there honestly not enough for one each!?_

Sirius watched how his hand touched Remus' shoulder, how his eyes would wander every few minutes, how he leaned suspiciously close whilst talking. 

Remus must have said something funny when Alexei started to snort, it wasn't an attractive laugh, more of a _donkey on drugs situation_. 

Sirius turned to look back at the creature by his feet, studying it for a second, "tu es français, non?" _You are French, no?_

It didn't do anything, of course it didn't. _It's a fucking Jackalope Sirius, pull it together, you're literally talking to the spawn of a deer and a rabbit......._

_How does that even happen!? Surely the rabbit couldn't reach!?_

_Stop it, back to the situation._

"Va poignarder le russe moisi dans le cul" _Go and stab the musty Russian in the arse._

_Please, this dumb rabbit wont- OH MY FUCK ITS GOING, OH MY FUCK._

"Oy!" Alexei cried, the Jackalope jumping up to try stab him again. 

"What the fuck!?" Remus picked up the animal, holding onto one of its antlers.'

Sirius couldn't help but laugh, he was enjoying this boys pain a lot. 

Alexei could hear him laughing and turned around, "Was this you!?" he demanded. 

"Moi?" Sirius looked behind him, trying to contain his smile while his back was turned. _Me?_

"Did you set the creature on me!?" Alexei repeated himself, pushing Sirius back slightly.

"Don't touch me" Sirius scoffed, sizing the other up. 

"I don't know _why_ you're so obsessed with me, French boy, but jealousy is not a good look" Alexei sneered, "Not that much _can_ be on you"

"I'm _glad_ I don't suit your animal leftovers" Sirius grimaced, accent coming through more with his anger. 

"Okayy, whats happening right now?" Remus asked, leaving the Jackalope in its cage. 

"That animal was set on me by him!" Alexei pointed at Sirius. 

Sirius looked down at Alexei's finger, then back up at his face, raising an eyebrow. He wasn't sure exactly _how_ Remus was going to react, but he definitely didn't expect a laugh. 

Yes, Remus laughed. 

Well, a hard breath through his nose, but a laugh. 

Alexei looked pretty put-out by this, his eyebrows furrowed and he frowned, Sirius was smirking like the bellend he is.

"C'mon, lets go" Remus smiled at Alexei, obviously noticing his defeated expression. 

"Yes" Alexei motioned for him to leave, and Remus turned around. 

But as he did, Alexei whispered something to Sirius. 

"See that, baguette boy? He's coming with me, have fun hearing about our fucking later-"

That was it, who the fuck did this guy think was?

"Tout d'abord," Sirius growled "vous faites face à une bite, Ne sois pas jaloux, je peux utiliser des mots plus gros que ta bite, et deuxièmement, Remus n'est pas juste un mec au hasard, tu peux baiser une fois puis partir!"

 _First off you arse faced prick, don't be jealous I can use words bigger than your dick, and second, Remus is not just some random guy you get to fuck once then leave!_

"Oh, is English too hard? Too scared to say anything to my face?" He laughed.

"Oh je connais un langage que tu _aimerais"_ Sirius laughed back, balling his hand into a fist behind his back. _Oh I know a language you would love._

"Exactly, too much of a coward to-"

Sirius cut him off, punching him right in the nose.

"Don't need translator for that" 


	6. Six

"Sirius!?" Remus cried, dropping to his knees by Alexei "What was that for!?" 

Sirius was clenching and releasing his fist, red marks blossoming on his knuckles, "He's a piece of shit!" 

"Still, you don't just punch people! He could have landed on a Jackalope!" Remus looked around, making sure he actually _hadn't._

Sirius tried his hardest not to smile. _Why are you being so fucking adorable, stop it..._

_I will blow up Russia._

"Sorry" He smirked, not even trying to look sincere. 

Alexei was leaning on his elbows now, death glaring at Sirius' face. It would not be an understatement to say he felt _humiliated,_ first day at a new school and he had been knocked out on the floor. 

_He will regret this,_ Alexei ranted internally, _I will prove him wrong, then we will see who's laughing._

"What did you even _do_?" Remus asked him, turning his attention away from the Jackalopes. 

This was his chance, "Nothing! I said bye!" Alexei lied. 

Sirius' mouth fell open in shock, then he started to laugh, but it wasn't a happy laugh, his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "tu es entrain de blaguer" He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face in a state of exhaust. _You have to be kidding me._

Remus looked back up at Sirius, "He said bye...?" 

"No!" Sirius groaned, he really wished he had payed more attention in his English lessons now... 

"Hiya-aagh- what happened?" James stopped walking half way over, sneaking a look at the Professor on the other side of the room. 

"He punched me for no reason" Alexei whined, holding his face. 

"And I missed it!?" James cried, stomping his foot in annoyance. 

"James!?" Remus gasped. 

"I've been around Sirius less than you have Moony, and even _I_ know he wouldn't just punch the bloke for no reason!"

"Merci!" Sirius agreed, going to stand next to James, "Si je n'avais pas envie de ton compagnon, tu serais mon préféré" _Thank you! If i didn't fancy your mate, you would be my favourite._

James nodded confidently, despite having no idea what Sirius just said. 

"Right..." Remus said, his eyes staying still, though _something_ flickered through them, whether it was suspicion or understanding, Sirius didn't know. 

"Is it because I'm Russian?" Alexei raised his eyebrows. 

Sirius snorted, mind actually working and turning on the translation spell. "Tu pourrais être mon bébé voisin et je t'aurais encore frappé" "You could be my neighbours toddler and I still would've hit you"

"Bro" James whispered to Sirius, trying to be discrete. "Hitting babys is a nono in England" 

Sirius closed his eyes, "Merci James, Je n'en avais aucune idée" He replied sarcastically "Thank you James, I had no idea"

"No worries!" James nodded, leaning back away. 

"Then why _did_ you hit me" Alexei cut in, raising his eyebrows. 

"parce qu'il n'est pas juste une autre de tes putes, alors ne parle pas de lui comme il est" Sirius crouched down to be at the same height as him, talking through gritted teeth. "Because he is not just another one of your whores, so don't talk about him like he is"

Everyone went silent, looking at Alexei, but the lesson must have ended at some point, because one the Durmstrang students walked over. 

"Все хорошо?" He said, walking up behind Sirius. _Everything alright?_

 _"_ Давай просто пойдем" Alexei grumbled. _Let's just go._

After they left, so did everyone else. It was a slower day than most, Remus acting a little more distant than usual, you wouldn't have been able to tell from afar, but he was. But other things were on peoples minds as well, the sorting for the Triwizard Tournament happening this eve. 

_"I reckon it will be Billius Weasley for Hogwarts"_

_"I hope that Sirius gets in, something pretty to watch"_

_"That Sergey bloke from Durmstrang has winner written all over him!"_

Whispers were erupting all over the castle, you couldn't turn a corner without hearing someone discussing _player probability_ or _previous death rates._

Surely no one would _die_. 

But a whole other issue came with this, the demand for female representation. The 70's were not a great time for feminine rights, muggle protests and campaigns having made their way into Hogwarts, causing quite the argument starter. 

"She is just as capable as you are!" Marlene had gone off at someone during lunch, defending Charlotte as Malfoy laughed at her for putting her name in the goblet. "Besides, I didn't see your cocky arse contribute" 

"You are here to watch, not end up killed because you can't run fast enough" 

"You wanna say that again?" She stood up, pushing her plate back with force.

Charlotte reached up to touch her arm, "It is alright, Marlene, please sit" 

Marlene reluctantly sat back down, still glaring fiercely at Lucius Malfoy, who's smirk had turned into a concerned frown. 

Concerned for himself obviously. 

The boys, of course, were doing as much as they could to show their support for this cause, James and Sirius even offered to wear skirts to dinner. Remus has passed up on this. 

_Ohh yes, lets wear a skirt and show off all my monstrous scars to half the future wizarding population! Stupid James._

Peter had to be thoroughly convinced, but gave in eventually. 

So now, Sirius, James and Peter were the highlight of everyone's conversations, all three of them wearing black pleated skirts as they walked into the great hall. 

"Why" Minerva McGonnagal sighed, cutting to the chase as she met the group by the entrance. 

"We are eradicating the stereotypes, Minnie!" James gestured to the badge on his chest that read, _Stereotype this bitches._

Sirius had fully expected the Professor to tell them off, for both the outfits and James' use of her first name, but quite the opposite happened. 

"Please take your seats, gentleman" She nodded towards Gryffindor table, a hint of a smile showing. She also seemed to stare down Professor Slughorn as he moved to approach them, sending him straight back to his seat. 

Poor Remus though....

_Okay wow Remus, look how pretty the sky looks, oh yes and the banners and the tables and......Sirius' legs.........STOP, this is a movement for feminism not a reason to look at his beautiful beautiful legs. I'm going to hell, oh my Satan, why does he look this good in a skirt this is NOT okay._

Sirius had decided he liked wearing skirts a lot, not because he had noticed Remus trying to look everywhere but _at_ him for some reason he _definitely_ did not know.

_Can't blame him, my arse looks hot in this......._

_FUCK ME HE'S GAY, OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT NOTICE, I HAVE TO TELL HIM I KNOW AND WE CAN KISS AND DATE AND GET MARRIED AND BUY A COTTAGE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE AND ADOPT LOTS OF LITTLE KIDS AND I CAN BRAID THEIR HAIR AHHHH._

"Remus can I talk with you later?" Sirius asked once they sat down, taking the seat beside him. 

"Sure" Remus whispered, Dumbledore having stood at his podium. 

"I'm sure all of you have managed to offer your names, and I wish you the best of luck!" He started, walking down from his podium and towards the centre of the room, "I will hand over to the _extraordinary_ magic that is the Goblet of Fire!" 

And as he said so, the placate blue flames turned a hostile shade of red, catching everyone off guard. They shot towards the ceiling, papers flitting around it in a spiral, until three shot to the floor, landing by Dumbledore's feet. 

The hall was quiet, everyone leaned forward in anticipation, ears perked and aimed towards the headmaster. 

"Our representative for Hogwarts is" Dumbledore opened the piece of paper, "Lily Evans" 

The entire female population, whether they be Russian, French or English, went ballistic. Shouts of _power_ and _well done's_ filled three of the tables. James had also made a big show, shaking Sirius and throwing his badge in the air. 

"The Durmstrang representative is" Dumbledore silenced everyone, unravelling the next sheet, "Alexei Maxim"

The other Durmstrang's cheered, banging their Goblets on the table in some tribe like pattern. 

"And for Beauxbatons......"

Everyone went quiet. 

"Sirius Black"


	7. Sept

Sirius felt Remus tense beside him, but he didn't have much time to think on it, as James jumped over the table at him. 

"Merde!" He cried, ducking so James went crashing to the floor. _Shit!_

"Congratulations!" Lily laughed, "I will be fighting you for the throne" 

Sirius didn't answer, his mind was moving to quickly, _I got in, I got in, I'm a fucking Triward competitor, what does that even mean, do I have to bond my blood with something!?_

Remus had not moved, he was still staring at Dumbledore, _Why him, there are so many Beauxbatons students here, what if he gets hurt, or wins and forgets me, not that we have anything to remember, well he did just punch a guy defending my honour.......oh my god what did he want to talk about!? Maybe it doesn't matter anymore, eternal glory and everything..._

He looked over at Sirius, who was smiling _so much._

_Shut the fuck up, this isn't about you, look how happy he is...._

"Well done" Remus said to him, reaching up to touch his arm. 

Sirius looked down at the hand, then up to his face, "Merci" _Thank you._

"Will our three contestants come join me!" Dumbledore cut in. 

Getting up, Lily, Sirius and Alexei made their way to the headmaster, a bounce in their steps. 

"Congratulations" Dumbledore whispered to each of them, "This is an honour of highest regards, I am sure you will all perform to the best of your abilities and honour your school,"

Alexei looked sideways at Sirius, a scheming smirk on his face, maybe competing against him could work in his favour. 

"You will be notified of the first task this weekend, before it begins" Dumbledore finished, gesturing they go to back to their seats. 

When Sirius and Lily got back, it was to find a sobbing James leaning on Remus, who looked very bored. 

"James, look who's here!" Remus sighed, looking up at them for help. 

James lifted his head, "My best friend and future girlfriend, i-in so much _danger!"_

"I can handle it, Potter" Lily rolled her eyes, forgetting to correct him. 

Sirius watched as James' face lit up, glossy eyes drying instantly, all his teeth showing in a grin, "Okay, Evans" 

She went to sit by Marlene and Charlotte, completely oblivious to the fact she had just made a boys entire week. 

"She didn't tell me to shove off!" James jumped in his seat, whisper-shouting at Sirius. 

"A victory!" Sirius raised his goblet. 

The feast continued with laughs and smiles, the odd _congratulations_ could be heard here and there. The final 'Hoorah' before the rivalry took over, right now tonight, everyone embraced each other like equals. 

After the meal disappeared, the 6th year Gryffindors left for their common room.

"I feel like I've been inflated" Peter groaned, holding his stomach as they walked through the portrait hole. 

"Just keep the air in, Okay?" James shivered.

All 7 of them sat around the fire, forming a sort of semicircle, Sirius beside Charlotte. 

"comment vas-tu alors?" He asked her. _How have you been then?_

She looked over at him sceptically, "Bien..." _Fine..._

"quelqu'un a attiré votre attention?" Sirius smirked. _Anyone caught your eye?_

He saw her eyes flicker to the other side of the circle briefly, where a laughing blonde sat, "Non" _No._

He hummed in agreement, but obviously knowing better, _They would be cute, I can call them Charlene._

"Blimey, we've 2 Triwizard champions in our presence" James laughed, but Remus had known him too long for that. 

"What wrong James?"

James looked at him surprised, then sighed and gave into Remus' knowing stare, "It's all just so dangerous, Samson in Ravenclaw was telling me there is a 37% _death rate_."

"You join too, no?" Sirius asked. 

"Well yes, but I don''t care if anything happens to me, if one of you-" 

"Potter" Lily cut him off, much to everyone's surprise, "A lot of people would care if you died!" 

"Really?" He looked at her, cutting everything else out in the world, because Lily Evans had just said she cared. 

"Yes!" She nodded, holding eye contact for a minute, before dropping it to look at her shoes. 

"Right well, I'm going to bed" Remus sighed, standing up. 

Sirius suddenly remembered that thing he had to talk to him about and followed suit, "Me too" 

"Rey?" He asked, closing the door behind him. 

Remus turned around at the nickname, a smirk playing at his features, "Rey?" 

"tête de bite" Sirius rolled his eyes. _Dickhead._

"I have no idea what you just said, but it didn't sound positive-" Remus laughed, flicking through a book. 

"It is not, I am talking now" Sirius scoffed, drawing hair behind his ear. 

Remus nodded, walking over to his bookshelf where he reached up to put the book away, his shirt lifting slightly. Sirius watched as the fabric raised, revealing intricate lines that crossed over the bottom of his back. 

He walked straight over, but Remus must have sensed him watching and spun around.

"What are you-" He started but Sirius had already gone behind him, pulling up the back of his top. 

"qui a fait ça!" and "Sirius!" They said at the same time. 

Remus pulled away, looking at him in shock, "What the hell!" 

"Who made that!?" Sirius seethed, jaw tensed. 

"I-" Remus was at a loss for words, _What the actual fuck, you don't just lift peoples shirts up, good lord!_

"I was uh- attacked by a dog when I was a kid, nothing too severe!" 

Sirius' face softened slightly, "Sure?" 

"Yes" _That was too fucking close, oh my god._ "What did you want to-"

"STOP IT JAMES" Peter came crashing into the dormitory, James hot on his tail. 

"YOU NEED ME PETER!" He cried. 

"What the fuck.." Remus looked at them. 

"I SAID I NEEDED HIM NOT TO DIE EITHER, BUT I TAKE IT BACK!" Peter ran around the dormitory. 

"HUG ME PETTIGREW!"

"NO"

"It's fine, I will get you while you're sleeping" James shrugged, much to Peter's horror, "What are you two up to" 

"Talking" Sirius beat Remus to it, smiling at him before going over to his own bed. 

_Oh my god he thinks James doesn't know.......AND HE DIDN'T TELL HIM, Merlin he keeps getting better, loyal, fucking gorgeous, funny and a splash of eternal glory-_

Remus looked at James who was trying to decipher the situation, he pointed to his back and made a claw with his hands, James caught on straight away and nodded, giving a thumbs up which Remus returned. 

"Night Remus and Sirius" Peter said, looking pointedly at James. 

"Want to stay up with me, eh Peter?" James smirked, making his way over. 

"NO" Peter slammed his curtains shut. 

The next few days went smoothly, they walked to lessons and learnt, attended dinners and ate, retreated to the dorms and slept. 

Everyone could be seen glancing out of windows feverishly, hoping for a glimpse of whatever the trio would be facing this Saturday, most of the time distracting them from the actual work. 

Rumours had been circulating through the castle, lies made to fill the gaps in Dumbledore's speeches, uncertainty putting everyone on edge, worrying for friends and reputations. 

_"I heard they are facing mountain trolls"_

_"No way, I thought it was an escape room"_

_"Definitely super dangerous whatever it is"_

Well it was Friday night now and Sirius couldn't sit still, leg bouncing under one of the the common room tables. 

"Mister Sirius is comings with Eza" A squeaky voice made him jump, spilling his ink over some parchment. 

"putain de merde baise!" He cried, holding his chest. _Fucking shit fuck._ "My ink!" 

"Yeah well at least yours wasn't put in a draught of peace" Remus deadpanned, not looking up from his book. 

Sirius just gave him the finger and looked over at the house elf that'd appeared. 

"Mister Sirius is comings with Eza" She persisted. 

"Uh, Oui" Sirius said as the little elf grabbed his pinky, apparating them both into Dumbledore's office. _Yes_

His office was circular, shelves lining the walls, filled with a number of trinkets and gadgets

"Mr Black, welcome" The headmaster greeted him, he was stood with Igor Karkaroff, Madame Maxine, Lily and Alexei. "Thank you Eza" 

"Master Dumbledore is thanking Eza, Eza is most grateful" The elf bowed, disapparating away.

"Curious little things, house elves" Dumbledore smiled, getting back on track after he noticed the exhausted stares of everyone. 

"I've called you here to discuss tomorrows task, which will be a retrieval" 

Everyone looked at him with either confusion or concern. 

"You will pick a magical creature from a hat and be sent to retrieve it by nightfall, wands are allowed, not exterior help, do you understand?" 

"Yes sir" The three of them replied, almost robotically, minds already absent, strategies and containment spells whizzing around. 

"You may tell a select few people to help you, but only a few, four at the most" He opened his door, stone bird spiralling towards the ceiling.

Sirius nodded, _I only need one._

"I will let you get on with the planning!"   
  



	8. Huit

_So, I'm telling Remus obviously, he's the smart one. Well, besides Lily but she's the enemy. Shit, won't they be conspiring against their own school though....CHARLOTTE!_

Sirius walked up the dormitory steps, past the crowd of people who were waiting to hear _something_ about tomorrow. 

"Eh, non des photos" He covered his face, running up the stairs. _Eh, no pictures._

He crashed into the dorm, all the boys being present as well.

"What is it!?" Remus jumped off his bed, putting a _blank_ piece of parchment down...Strange. 

"Um" Sirius fumbled around for his wand, "Ça ne vous dérange pas de m'aider alors?" "You don't mind helping me then?"

"Why would we mind?" Peter questioned from his desk.

"Fuck, I keep forgetting we don't go to the same school" Remus sighed, then turned to James and Peter, "We are supposed to be helping _Lily"_

"But whose gonna help Sirius...?" James looked at him apologetically. 

"Charlotte!" Sirius grinned, though, in truth he was rather disappointed he couldn't talk to his friends about this. 

There was a knock at the door, James went to open it, "Evans!?"

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm here for Remus" 

Sirius looked around James, Lily was stood with her notebook and some weird metal stick. 

"J'irai trouver Charlotte" He mumbled, leaving the room hastily. "I will go find Charlotte" 

Sirius walked through the common room and up the girls dormitory steps, James had said a few days ago they would definitely shoot him off, but everything seemed normal so far....

_Must be my magnificent gaybilities._

He walked into the dorm labelled _6th years_ and over to Charlotte who was reading a magazine on her bed, there were four mattress' in the room. 

"tu as un lit supplémentaire?" He asked, sitting next to her and taking a look at _witch weekly_. _You have an extra bed?_

"Oui, une des filles a dû rentrer à la maison, un membre de la famille est mort ou quelque chose du genre" She replied, not bothered at the fact some bloke had just walked into her room. _Yes, one of the girls had to go home, family member died or something._

"Droite, bein" He snatched the magazine away, "comment capturer une créature magique?" _Right, well. How do I capture a magical creature?_

"dépend" She looked over at him, "de quelle taille parlons-nous?" _Depends, how big are we talking?_

"euh je ne sais pas.." _uhh I don't know..._

"Utile" She rolled her eyes. _Helpful_

"êtes-vous sûr de ne connaître aucun sort!?" Sirius groaned, pouting. _Are you sure you don't know any spells!?_

"Non, mais vous avez la moitié des beauxbatons ici, demandez à l'un d'eux" She took her Charms book out. _No, but you have half of beauxbatons here, ask one of them._

"Je ne veux pas leur parler" He crossed his arms like a grumpy child. _I don't want to talk to them._

"Eh bien, vous pouvez marcher votre cul anti-social à la bibliothèque" Charlotte ended the conversation, placing the literacy on her lap. _Well you can walk your antisocial arse to the library_ _, then._

"du matin" He got up, patting her head on the way, "Merci pour rein" _In the morning, thanks for nothing._

"Pas de soucis" _No worries._

Sirius left the dorm, walking back into the common room, he could see Lily sat by the fire, she smiled over at him and he nodded back. This meant the boys dormitory was opponent free again and Sirius really just wanted to _sleep._

Opening the door as quietly as he could, he went in, everyone was still awake though. 

"How was Charlotte?" James asked, taking a sock off. Remus was carefully keeping his eyes on the ground. _Weird._

Pulling out his wand, Sirius replied, "Peu serviable" "Unhelpful" _._

He padded over to his bed, one of the curtains slightly askew. Opening the red drapes, his eyes stopped on a book, title reading: _Magical Creatures: Containment and Removal,_ neatly placed on his pillow with a note:

_This never happened -R_

Sirius couldn't stop the genuine smile that made its way onto his face as he picked it up, hiding the cover behind his cushions when Peters footsteps neared.

Turning, Sirius found Remus looking at his book intensely, head coming up briefly to notice the grin on Sirius' face. 

"Merci" Sirius mouthed, sitting on his bed. _Thank you._

Remus awkwardly smiled back, nodding his head and closing the curtains around himself. 

*

Sirius woke up at the crisp hour of 6 the next morning, the task wasn't commencing until 12, but he wanted to get some extra practice time in, so he got ready for breakfast early. 

"What are you doing" A deep, sleepy voice made him jump, turning around Remus was opening his curtains, he must have got changed after Sirius fell asleep because he did not remember seeing him in plaid pyjama bottoms and a grey shirt that _had_ to be too small.....

His hair was slightly dishevled from the nights sleep, rubbing his eyes he stood up and walked round to his dresser.

_I have no words.....yes I do, HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF HIPPOGRIFFING SHIT. Its official, Remus Lupin is my dream man, oh my life look at his hair all messy and the morning voice and his ARMS....he could cho-_

"Uhh" Remus had noticed Sirius staring, feeling rather self conscious. 

"tue moi avec des fourchettes" Sirius said under his breath, "Sorry." _Kill me with forks._

"Are you getting up _now!?"_ Remus looked at the clock on their wall. 

Sirius looked around for his wand, muttering the translation spell, "tu es debout aussi?" "You're up too?"

"I always get up now" Remus lied, in truth he had been too nervous to sleep, worried about his _friends_ safety. _Sirius is just a friend._

"Droite" Sirius drawled, looking at Remus sideways. "Right"

"Yup" He replied, popping the 'P'. 

"Eh bien, nous pouvons aller au petit déjeuner après avoir pris une douche rapide!" "Well we can go to breakfast after I have a quick shower! "

"We're going on your schedule are we?" Remus raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms. 

_Oh the muscles.._

"Je suis un chéri challenger Triwizard" He winked, closing the bathroom door before Remus could hear his wand. _I_ _am_ _a Triwizard challenger, darling._

"Bloody French" Remus grumbled to himself, grabbing his uniform. 

Sirius walked out ten minutes later, positively murdering Remus with his wet hair. 

"You feeling alright then?" Remus asked as they walked down from Gryffindor tower. 

Sirius stalled, nobody had actually asked him that yet, it was all _Whats the task_ and _Remember me if you win, yeah?_

"oui je pense" He responded after a few minutes of consideration, Remus was awfully patient, "Yeah I think so" 

"Okay, It's fine if you're not though, animals can be pretty dangerous, not that you'll have any issue with them, you're- well you're you and well I-I understand if you feel like you have to put on a brave face in front of everyone, but you can talk to me, only if you want obviously, don't uh-"

"Je te remercierai" Sirius cut him off, Remus looked very thankful for that, "I will thank you"

"Yeah uh good- yeah" Remus looked to the ground as they walked into the great hall.

It was pretty empty besides from a few older students, no doubt studying for some upcoming tests or whatnot.

The two boys sat at the end of Gryffindor table opposite each other, waffles and cereals piling in front of them.

"Did the book have anything helpful then?" Remus asked after a few minutes.

"Oui, Je suis presque sûr qu'il y avait tout en fait" Sirius laughed, "YeahI'm pretty sure it had everything actually"

"I saw it in the restricted section yesterday, rather hidden away I wasn't sure you would be able to find it" _Lie, I had been worried about you and went looking_ _especially_ _for it._

"Eh bien, je te dois ma victoire, si je gagne bien sûr" "Well, I owe you my win, if I do win of course. "

"What do you mean ' _if I win',_ thats not the right mindset c'mon!"

"Eh bien, je suis loin d'être aussi intelligent que Lily et Alexei, le morceau de merde, pourrait probablement lutter contre l'animal au sol" Sirius sighed, he didn't like feeling all crappy, but he did feel he was the lesser of the two..."Well I'm nowhere near as smart as Lily, and Alexei, the piece of shit, could probably wrestle the animal to the ground"

"Sirius!?" Remus looked genuinely shocked, "First off, you aren't being quizzed on the animals are you?"

Sirius shook his head, finally making eye contact.

"This is a tournament focusing on your skill as a _wizard_ , you need to go out there and show every one what a bloody brilliant one you are, Okay? Using a _wand_ not strength"

Sirius nodded, completely mesmerized, feeling better than he had in days. Remus could do that, make him feel things, without doing anything more than just _talking_.

"And if it helps, we all saw you punch Alexei to the ground" Remus grinned, taking a bite out of an apple.

"l'a mérité" Sirius grumbled, taking his eyes off Remus' mouth briefly, seeing James and Peter walk over. "Deserved it"

"Sirius, if you die today, know that I love you, okay? This might be too early to say in our friendship, but I do" James frowned, holding Sirius in a side hug when he sat down.

"Je ne mourrai pas James" "I won't die James"

"I've been trying to tell him that all morning" Peter scowled, rubbing a patch on his shoulder, "He punched me for saying you might not love him back!"

"Je t'aime aussi mon ami" Sirius patted James' shoulder, emphasis on the 'friend' part, looking opposite himself for a millisecond. "I love you too, friend"

"See Pettigrew, you liar!" James threw a waffle.

"Oh I'm so sorry for betraying you!" Peter rolled his eyes, stabbing the waffle mid-air with his fork, surprising everyone, "Didn't see that coming? I have more secrets than you'd expect!"

"Wouldn't count experienced waffle murder as a good secret, Pete" Remus laughed.

Peter grumbled incoherently around his food, throwing a timetable in the middle of the four.

_5-8am = Breakfast_   
_8-10am = Free time_   
_10:15am = Challengers meet_   
_12am-unknown = Task 1_

Looking at his watch, Sirius realized it was already getting on for 7:30.

"Je pars" He said standing up, "I'm off"

He had around 3 hours before he was expected to begin his journey to eternal glory.


	9. Neuf

"Am I right to assume you've all had some time to research concealment charms?" Dumbledore said at 10:20 that Saturday.

Alexei, Lily and Sirius all nodded, going over different spells in their head.

"Right, well I've set a up a room here so you may practice said spells" The headmaster gestured to the large room they were in.

Sirius hadn't noticed it in his initial tour of the castle, but it seemed built for this exact occasion, like Hogwarts had prepared for this day, long before the tournament was even invented.

He walked over to one corner, twirling his wand between his fingers, hair in a bun.

"se préparer à être piégé" He said to the wooden box in front of him. _Prepare to be trapped._

Sirius went through Remus' book in his head, _petrificus_ _totalus, contrapto, capitonem...._

The box started to move, floating across the ground, Sirius grinned and aimed his wand.

"Contrapto!" He cried, sending out jets of red sparks, red sparks that reflected through everyones eyes, stopping the box dead in its tracks.

Alexei noticed this and made sure to keep an ear out for the next time Sirius used it. He had not had as much luck with his search, spending most of the night bathing in the attention he had gotten for knowing something others didn't.

People like you if you have something they want.

Lily was doing well in her corner, research rewarding her greatly, the simplest of charms having as good an outcome as the more advanced ones.

12pm was nearing quicker than anyone anticipated, for the challengers anyway. The rest of the student body had been on edge for the entire morning, Professors gave up on trying contain everyone, no doubt just as excited.

The boys were sat in the common room playing a distracted game of chess while Remus re-read his transfiguration text. 

He had finished his books during this months _post episode_ time in the hospital wing, after Peter and James' animagus quest had failed again, he gained a few nasty scratches on his back and Madame Pomfrey was forced to keep him for a few extra observation days. 

He actually got out the day before Sirius arrived, it was luck--in a way--that the next full moon wasn't due until when he was leaving. Sure, Remus liked Sirius a lot, even considered him a close friend, but not close enough for a secret like _that_. 

Sirius was going to leave in the end, after all. 

"Sometimes I wish I was an octopus!" James said out of nowhere.

"What?" Remus sighed, closing his book. 

"Well they just get to float around all day, don't they?"

"So do fish, why an octopus?" Remus asked. 

"You could slap eight people at once?" Peter offered, moving his queen. 

"Useful!" James grinned. 

"That's about as useful as the K in knife, who are you going to slap in the ocean?"

"Anyways, we better get going, its ten to twelve!" James looked at his watch, ignoring Remus. 

They left the common room a long with a few of the remaining Gryffindors.

The headmaster had set up around 200 large blankets that lay on the slope of grass in front of the forbidden forest. Everyone hurried to the front, settling with their friends, the smell of cauldron cakes and pumpkin juice filling the air. 

"I hope everyone is situated and comfortable, could we please put our hands together for this decades Triwizard Challengers!" 

As if on queue, Lily, Alexei and Sirius were all apparated--via houself--onto the opposite side of the black lake. 

Due to the high chance of running, they had been allowed to wear casual clothes, uniform didn't seem fundamental. 

Sirius turned around, a few stray pieces of hair falling in front of his face and grinned towards the crowd, lazily waving the tips of his fingers at cheering beauxbatons students, rocking some black jeans and an AC/DC shirt.

If was going to die, at least he will look good doing it. 

"In this hat I have collected small scale models of every creature that inhabits our forest, challengers, please pick your animals" Dumbledore said as Igor Karkaroff held out a battered looking top hat. 

Lily reached in first and pulled out an ugly, writhing thing, multiple legs trying to crawl from her hand. 

Lily sighed, "Darn it!"

"Ah, an Acromantula! Nasty biters they are" Dumbledore chuckled, Madame Maxime now pushing the hat towards Alexei. 

Alexei went in and removed a white, prancing horse, well horse with a horn.

"Unicorn! fantastic creatures!" The headmaster gushed as Sirius put his hand into the hat.

He felt something bony clamber onto his palm and pulled it up, though the only reactions being from Dumbledore and a few scattered students. 

"Thestral" 

_Ew ew ew ew ew ew what the fuck is this corpse in my hand, mmmmmm no I'm not actively seeking out this monstrosity, what kind of death wish does this school have housing these fuckers._

The sudden silence confused Remus and he finally looked over to the competitors, down at Sirius' hand and disgusted face. 

_Fuck he looks good........Focus Remus!_

He looked at the black horse that lay in his palm, sighing inwardly knowing exactly why everyone had gone so silent. Thestrals were only visible to those who have witnessed death. 

Remus lost his mother, Hope, when he was nine, she was diagnosed with a muggle disease called Cancer and died holding his hand in hospital...

But why could Sirius see them?

"Am I fucking blind or is Sirius holding er- air?" James scrunched up his eyebrows and pursed his lips. 

"It's a Thestral" Remus replied absentmindedly, still studying Black's expressions.

James stared at him blankly.

"God, it's really like a white noise machine in there isn't it!?" Remus replied, stress getting to him slightly. 

"Blimey, Moony!" Peter gasped, holding a hand to his chest, "So violent!" 

"Yeah well my bo- _friend_ is about to be sent to track down a vicious death horse in a forest full of murderous entities!" _That was close, not my boyfriend!_

"Whats an _entity"_ James asked, rubbing his chin slightly. 

Remus clenched his jaw and released it a few times, facing the front again. _He's a nice boy Remus, he means well, people will notice if he disappears._

"Its a bird James" He lied. 

"A bird" James scoffed, "If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on" 

"Who?" Peter asked, despite already knowing the answer. It was always the same answer. 

"Snivellus!" James exclaimed, pointing his finger towards the sky. "Right Moony?" 

"Absofuckin _lutely_ " Remus deadpanned, watching Dumbledore take his wand out. 

"Now!" Dumbledore spoke over the crowds, "Lets give our champions a proper send off?" 

Everyone started clapping and cheering as the three ran into the forest. 

Sirius stopped running after 5 minutes and started studying the ground, maybe he could find some tracks or- er something. 

_If I was a decomposing horse demon, where would I go...._

_Dark corners so nobody would have to look at my hideousness!_

And on that note, Sirius went trudging in the direction of the shadows. 

"viens sur le petit cheval de la mort, viens jouer!" He cooed into the empty forest. _Come on little death horse, come out to play._ "Lumos" 

There was a crunch behind him, he span around holding his wand up high. He walked slowly into an opening in a bundle of oak trees, mouth falling open when he saw it.

Tall and proud, a Hippogriff stood, sun reflecting off its coat, dead Jackalope dangling from its jaws. 

It jumped onto its hind legs, chest out and expanding wings, hooked beak snapping as it landed forward again. 

Funnily enough, this was something Sirius had read up on yesterday. 

So he bowed, arms out beside him and trying to convey as much respect he could. He heard a satisfied grunt as the Hippogriff went back to feasting, as if he was never there. 

"bien, euh agréable de vous rencontrer dame hippogriffe" And he set off back into the trees. _Well, uh nice meeting you miss Hipogriff._

Lily was heading north, grumbling angrily to herself, "Of course I get the Acromantula, yes lets give Lily the giant spider, that will be fun!" 

Alexei was feeling rather smug, under the impression Unicorns were _easy_ and _weak_. 

Boy was he _wrong_. 


	10. Dix

Alexei strutted through the forest, blasting tree branches as he went by. 

He was so preoccupied by his own thoughts, so unresponsive to his surroundings he didn't notice the pair of crystaline blue eyes that were watching him from the shadows. 

"как это должно показать мастерство?" He scoffed, snapping a branch. _How is this supposed to show skill?_

The eyes started forward, completely silent in step, adapted perfectly to the forest ground. 

"рыжая определенно съедается, не уверенная, что заставило ее думать, что она способна в первую очередь!" _The redhead is definitely getting eaten, not sure what made her think she was capable in the first place._

A huff startled him out of speech and he spun around, only just jumping out the way quick enough to not be impaled. 

"Блядь!" He cried, looking around for his fallen wand. _Fuck._

After a few second of scrambling, he finally came to his senses and got up, turning around. 

Stood royally, an ashen creature looked down on him, single horn protruding towards the sky. 

"Unicorn" He grinned, finally getting a grip on his wand. 

The creature stamped its hoof in frustration, because _who was this human and why was he destroying her home?_

"You must come with me now" He aimed his wand at her. She saw this and gave an organised neigh of disapproval, not at him, but more around him. 

"Lacero!" He smirked, a long whip-like string of magic came from his wand, latching round the Unicorns neck. 

She cried in a surprisingly agonising way, making Alexei's ears ring slightly, though that didn't stop him pulling on the rope from his wand. 

As he started dragging the restrained animal towards an opening by the edge of the forest, a series of twig snaps made him stop again. 

He dared to turn around and came face to face with what had to be an entire _herd_ of angry looking Unicorns.

"Uh" 

Sirius was still searching, boredom getting the best of him as he started to hum along to a Queen song. 

"hm hmm killer queeeen hmm hmmm dynamite with a laser beaaam" 

Despite what you might think, Queen was pretty popular in France, especially with Sirius. He loved how the music made him feel, like he was floating and nobody expected him to get down. 

_I wonder how Lily is getting on? That Acromantula looked pretty nasty.....eh she's got it!_

_I hope the Unicorn stabs Alexei right where it hurts._

Sirius winced slightly at the thought, taking a seat on a rock. 

_Might as well stay put, see if a death horse walks by._

He started singing again, taping the top of his shoe on the ground as he looked up at the sky " _Just like Mary Antionetteee, a built in remedy, for Khrushchev and Kennedyyy_ " 

You'd be surprised, Sirius knew most of the words off by heart, language barrier forgotten when it came to song lyrics. He might not know what the words mean, but he could definitely pronounce them, accent only warping the words slightly. 

" _At anytime an invitation you can't decliiiine. Caviar and ciggarettes, well versed in etiquet_ " 

This went on for a few more verses until he stopped, consumed by thought. 

_I wonder if Remus likes Queen, that would be hot._

_But everything Remus does is hot, the way he walks and breathes and blinks and laughs.... just EVERYTHING._

_oh my fuck._

_I_ _never told him_ _I_ _knew-_

A whine broke Sirius out of his head and made him look around. 

"Bonjourrr?" Sirius sang, searching the trees. 

It wasn't until something hit his foot he looked down, skull-like thing gazing up at him. 

"GAH!" He jumped back, tripping over the rock, landing under the stomach of something black and leathery. 

He crawled backwards and braced himself against a tree, the two figures eyes following him. 

"c'est quoi ce bordel, c'est quoi ce bordel!" _What the fuck, what the fuck!_

The bigger of them exhaled sharply trough its..... _Muzzle?_

_I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die....._

_Wait-_

"tu étais dans ma main plus tôt!" He pointed at it. _You were in my hand earlier!_

The Thestrallooked at him, expression unwavering. 

_I've really got to stop talking to animals._

Sirius reached for his wand, but as he did the Thestral hit the ground with his hoof in a warning manner. 

_Okay so no wand...._

"ohhhh que faire maintenant" He patted his thighs, drumming out a beat. _Ohhh what to do now._

"mmm mmm just killed a mannn, put a-" Sirius sang awkwardly, looking back at the sky, singing to help him think. 

The smaller Thestral walked towards him.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, testing something and taking a step back, "Put a gun against his heead, pulled the trigger now he's deaaad" 

The creature moved forward, its friend following suit. 

_Oh now this can work._

"Mamaaa life has just beguuun, but now I've gone and thrown it all awaaaay..." He continued, praying to whatever greater being that he was going the right way, his ticket to first place following close behind.

Turns out it was the right way, he emerged from the forest after his third run through of Bohemian Rhapsody, a lot of people seemed to be clapping already though. 

Once his eyes adjusted to the direct sun light, he noticed the mess of red hair that was lying on the grass. 

"Deuxième place, un grand effort Sirius!" Madame Maxime thundered over, startling the Thestrals. _Second place, a grand effort Sirius!_

"Est-elle morte?" He pointed towards Lily. _Is she dead?_

"Oh non, elle est juste fatiguée je crois, Acromantula" She shook her head sympathetically. _Oh no, she's just tired I believe, Acromantula._

"D'accord" He replied, looking around awkwardly, he never really spoke with the headmistress. _Okay._

They stood there for a moment until Sirius saw James walking over, more in the direction of Lily, but still over. 

"Au revoir!" He waved, running over to his friends. 

James turned around at the sound of multiple footsteps, "Sirius, oh thank Merlin you're not _dead_!" He pulled him into a bear-hug. 

"Fuck!" Remus jumped, showing up behind James. 

Sirius stopped and his mouth opened in confusion, "Je sais que je suis jolie mais-" _I know I'm pretty but-_

"Whaaat the fuck" Remus strained, eyes wide.

Sirius turned around and nearly bumping right into the Thestral that was following him.

"Je t'ai oublié.." He said to it. _I forgot about you._

"Uh did your animal _hit_ you by any chance? Like in the head area..." James creased his brows, eyes still half on Lily. 

Sirius turned to the Thestrals then back to James, confusion evident on his face, evident to Remus anyway. 

"Uh Sirius can I talk to you?" Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Oui?" Sirius replied walking over to him. _Yes?_

"Was that...? Did Lily just say James!?" Remus lied. 

"WHAT!" James yelled, running over to her immediately. "LILY I'M HERE" 

"No- Over here Sirius" Remus sighed when Sirius turned to look as well. 

"De quoi veux-tu parler?" He asked, reeling his attention back in. _What did you want to talk about?_

"You uh- you gonna use the translation charm because I can't- y'know...?"

"Oh, merde pardon!" _Oh shit sorry._

Sirius reached for his wand, but as he did the Thestral stomped its hoof again. 

"Mmmmm nooope nope no thank you" Remus stepped backwards, making Sirius roll his eyes. 

"Je ne t'ai pas amené jusqu'ici juste pour t'assassiner, se détendre!?" Sirius looked at the magical creature. _I didn't bring you this far just to murder you did I!?_

It looked at him for a second then walked away, probably to find the other who had wandered off at some point. 

Sirius finally got his wand out and cast the spell, "Quoi de neuf?" "What's up?"

"It's just uh- you know why James can't see...those...right?" 

"Il ne peut pas les voir!? Je pensais qu'il était juste vraiment insensible!" "He can't _see_ them!? I thought he was just unobservant!" 

"Well yes but uh- people can only see Thestrals if they've seen- oh this is awkward- uh well _death"_

Sirius stopped blinking, his smile unwavering "Hm?" 

"Well you have to of witnessed uh death to see them..." Remus grimaced, Sirius' smile disturbing him slightly. 

"D'accord!" Sirius nodded, walking off in the opposite direction. _Okay._

"Wait!" Remus reached out to stop him, "I wanted to- uh- well are you alright? I didn't want to resurface anything but-" 

"Je vais bien" He turned his head away quickly, ducking under Remus' arm to get away. _I'm fine._


	11. Onze

"WHAT!?" James exclaimed, "LILY I'M COMING!" 

Lily lifted her head from the ground, "Ugh" 

"Are you alright?" He asked, sitting cross legged beside her. 

"Y-" She looked over at his genuinely concerned face. _You know what..._

"No Potter, I am not alright!" She started, sitting up properly. 

His eyes widened, _She is engaging in conversation, be cool be cool..._

_I am blinking way too fast, is me being weird? Oh Merlin. Fuck my eyes are dry!_

"I have just been running around that _forest_ for like 3 HOURS just to fight to the bloody death with a giant spider monster--which by the way is MUCH too dangerous to be near a school of CHILDREN--and for WHAT? So DUMBLEDORE could just set it free again the second I got here!" She was waving her arms around now. 

" 'Too dangerous to be near all the students' NEWS FLASH I just had to hunt..it..DOWN old man, yeah sure I got first place but MY HEAD HURTS OKAY? AND MY FEET HURT AND MY ARMS HURT AND NOW MY CONSCIENCE HURTS BECAUSE I'M YELLING IN A FIELD FULL OF PEOPLE!" 

Everyone was silent now, Sirius was running up towards the school for some reason.

A few people started to laugh, people being Lucius Malfoy and his friends. 

Lily was going redder by the second, blending in with her hair as she tried to hide behind it. 

"Did you want to talk about it? I mean like over there or something, away from Luscious locks" James smiled, trying to lighten her mood a bit. 

She looked around, despite 'being alone with James Potter' high on her list of things never to do, everyone _was_ staring at her. 

Marlene would be here soon anyway....

"Okay" 

James got up, offering her a hand. _She said yes she said yes I can die happy, my life's purpose is fulfilled. Lily Evans is coming to talk to me, remember James this isn't about you, just listen and listen and listen, you got this hot guy!_

_Thank you inner me._

"So what do Acromantulas look like?" He asked her, leaning against a tree. 

"We don't have to talk about that it's fine-" 

"No, really I want to know" 

Lily faltered for a second, trying to keep the smallest of smiles down, "Well- it's got eight legs and all furry and....." 

She carried on describing it to him, James was definitely _hearing_ her, just not so much _listening._

He preferred to watch. To watch how how she talked and stood with such grace, how her hair reflected the sun and her eyes always looked down when she was mentioning herself. 

James didn't understand this, if he was Lily, he would be bragging to everyone about how smart and talented and funny he was, how great with the younger students he was, how dedicated- 

Something white caught his eye, weaving in and out of the trees.

"....and then it tried to _bite_ me!" She sighed, absently rubbing her arm. 

"Did the little fucker hurt you!?" James snapped his attention back, looking to her arm. 

_I will NOT hesitate to extinctify them...._

"I- uh well it hit me aside a few times but nothing Madame Pomfrey can't fix" 

"Okay, good, not that anything could ruin your unwavering beauty-" 

She looked up at him blankly, shaking her head. 

"Right, sorry, not the time" He nodded "But congratulations!" 

"On what?" 

"Well you got first place, did you not?" James clapped, "You, Lily Evans, have come first place in a Triwizard Tournament task, not only bringing home the win for Hogwarts, but giving a firm 'fuck you' to stereotypes around the world!" 

She was looking at him strangely, he had never seen her look at him like this before, like she was trying to figure something out. 

"I'm not trying to make a move or-" He panicked, it wasn't supposed to come off that way. 

"No no I know" She stopped him, "I- thank you" 

"Yeah no worries!" 

"Do you-" 

"ACROMANTULA ACROMANTULA!" Lucius jumped out from behind the trees, making James jump. 

"Fucking fuck merlin shitty fuck!" James gasped. 

Lily hadn't moved at all, unless you count rolling her eyes, "Real funny Malfoy, that worked out didn't it?" 

"Think you're all tough because you caught a creepy crawley, Evans?" He scoffed. 

"Oh like you could do it _"_ She turned to face him. 

James was watching this exchange with careful eyes, he didn't want to interfere in case Lily thought he was acting superior, not that she _needed_ any help by the looks of it...

"It was a spider, how difficult!" Lucius laughed. 

"Go get one then" 

"Wh- that's absurd!" He looked behind her. 

"No it's not, go get-"

"Everything alright, over here?" Severus Snape said, walking up to the three of them. 

"It's fine Sev" 

"Mudblood here thinks she's tougher than us" Lucius told Snape, evil grin on his face. 

"The fuck did you just call her?" James butted in, walking forward. 

"James, _don't!_ " She looking at him with warning. 

Though that may have just made everything worse, see she hadn't called James by his first name in...well ever. 

Here was Severus Snape, hopelessly in love, hearing her call the boy she _should_ hate by his first name. 

_This is betrayal,_ he thought, _she doesn't like him, she loves me, he's tricked her somehow!_

"What did he do to you?" Snape asked Lily, looking at James. 

"Wha- nothing, Sev!" She stepped back. 

"What _did_ I do Snivellus?" James raised an eyebrow, ignoring Lily's protests at the name. 

"Tricked her somehow into liking you!" 

"Why would _I_ need to trick anyone into liking me?" 

"Because you're an arrogant piece of- AH!"

James had lifted him into the air with his wand, dangling ten feet off the ground.

"Put him _down,_ Potter!" Lily glared at him. 

James reluctantly obliged, dropping him on the grass. 

"Are you alright!?" Lily rushed over to him, kneeling down. 

Severus looked up, a large crowd of people had gathered by now, a lot of them being Slytherin. 

"Get away, they are watching" He mumbled to her, God forbid he's seen with a muggleborn. 

"What? I can't hear-" 

People were looking at him judgmentally now, he had to fix this, he was living with these people, he could apologise to Lily later. 

"Get away from me Mudblood" 

"Sirius?" Remus called out, still searching around the grounds. 

He had run off after Remus mentioned him witnessing death, and he felt terrible about it. 

_What was I thinking!? It could have happened years ago and I've just brought all the old emotions out, you don't just ask someone if they have watched another person DIE, fucking idiot._

"Siiiirius?" He looked into the great hall. 

There was a shuffling noise from the far side of the room. 

"Sirius are you under the Gryffindor table?" 

"Non" "No"

"Okay well let me know if you see Sirius, random stranger, I will be sat over here" Remus took a seat at the Hufflepuff table. 

It was quiet for a minute...

"Je suis ici" Sirius groaned, "I'm here" 

"No way" Remus walked over, lifting up the red table cloth, "What are we doing under the table?" 

"Je ne sais pas" Sirius scooted over so Remus could sit next to him, "I don't know" 

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there, I was out of line and-" Remus sighed, ducking under the table, it was surprisingly clean. 

"Tout va bien, juste un peu de réalité" Sirius said, "It's alright, just a bit of a reality check really"

"What part of death is a reality check!?" 

"Je suppose que j'ai juste essayé de laisser tous mes bagages en France, en quelque sorte comme si j'avais une vie parfaite pendant un moment" He laughed, wringing his hands. "I guess I just tried to leave all my issues back in France, sort of pretend I had a perfect life for a bit"

"Oh..."

"ce genre de chose a fait rentrer tout cela et maintenant je panique sous une table" He finished, sad smile on his face, "This kind of made it all flood back in and now I'm sat under a dinner table"

"Did you want to talk about it, you know, just let everything out?" Remus looked over at him. 

"Je ne- je ne peux pas parler de mes sentiments, ce n'est pas vraiment quelque chose que j'avais le droit de faire et je me fige et-" Sirius sighed, "I don't- I can't talk about my uh feelings, it wasn't really something I was allowed to do so I just freeze up and-" 

"No no its fine, I get it" Remus got up, supposedly leaving. 

"je suis vraiment désolé!" "I'm really sorry!"

"I know, but would it be easier if you couldn't see me?" 

"Que?" Sirius questioned, "What?" 

"Turn the translater off and just let everything out, I wont know what you are saying and you can't see me, you're technically talking to yourself" 

Sirius hesitated for a moment, did he really want to unload all of this on Remus?

Well he couldn't understand him....

"Je pense que je peux voir les Thestrals grâce à mon Père. Il a tué un homme lors d'un brunch il y a trois ans, le sortilège de la mort, je ne sais pas pourquoi. Je ne sais jamais vraiment pourquoi avec mes parents, ils me détestent parce que je suis juste, juste parce que je ne pense pas que tuer des nés de moldus soit acceptable. Regulus me manque aussi, mon petit frère, il ne me parle pas vraiment beaucoup, mais ça va, ça veut dire que maman le laisse tranquille. J'ai aussi un gros béguin pour vous que je travaille mais cela ne semble pas aussi important pour le moment." 

_I think I can see the Thestrals because of my Father. He killed a man during a brunch three years ago, the killing curse, not sure why though. I never really know why with my parents, they hate me for being fair, just because I don't think killing muggleborns is okay. I miss Regulus too, my little brother, he doesn't really talk to me that much, but its okay, that means mother leaves him alone. I also have a pretty big crush on you that I'm working through but it doesn't seem as important right now._

Remus waited a moment to make sure he was done, "Do you feel better?" 

He did, surprisingly, "Oui" _Yes._

"Well, did you want to go back outside? See if Alexei's got back with a unicorn yet?" 

"Oui" _Yes._


	12. Douze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idek, Gryffindor party, James gets in a fight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, Sorry this took so long for me to put up, I am a major procrastinator and school just started back up. 
> 
> I'm going to try have a chapter a week, maybe more if i can!

Sirius and Remus got outside just in time to see James punch Severus in the face. 

Multiple times. 

"Shit" Remus sighed, rubbing his temples. 

"MR POTTER!" Professor McGonnagal bellowed from the other side of the grassy plain, walking swiftly towards him. 

James stepped back, still breathing heavily, Severus left lying on the ground. 

Severus looked over to Lily, who had a determined look on her face. 

"Fuck you, Sev" She said in a surprisingly monotone voice, walking away. 

"Lily?" Marlene asked, coming down the hill and seeing the group of people. 

"I'll tell you later, lets go over there" She pulled her friend away, not looking back. 

"tu as un bon compagnon de swing!" Sirius slapped James on the back, grinning like a madman. "You've got a nice swing, mate!"

_Well, he's happier, I guess it did work,_ Remus hoped, still looking sideways at Snape. 

"Prick deserved it" James huffed, eyes following Lily, "Do you reckon I should-"

"-She probably needs some time, James" Remus sympathised "I would recommend hiding before McGonnagal gets here" 

"Fuck, yeah!" And he ran off, seeking refuge behind some Ravenclaw 5th years.

Malfoy had run off after James hit Snape the first time, scampering back over to some Slytherins, leaving his 'friend'. 

Now Severus was alone on the ground, looking up at Lupin and Black. 

"Stay here" Remus said to Sirius, walking over to one of the spectators and asking them something. 

He came back a second later, a funny look on his face. 

"Que-" Sirius started, stopping when Remus held a hand up, eyes dark and looking at Severus. _What-_

"Pretty tough talk for a half-blood, huh?" He said, crouching beside Snape's bloodied face.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Snape spluttered, recoiling back slightly at the look in Remus' eyes. 

"Keep her name out of your filthy mouth, or I swear to Merlin I will hunt you down myself" He said in a low voice, quiet enough to keep out prying ears, loud enough for both Sirius and Snape to hear. 

Severus couldn't reply to that, Remus got up and left, followed by Sirius who _accidentally_ walked into his side. 

_Hunt me next please, fuck that was hot,_ "qu'a t'il dit?" "What did he say?"

"Doesn't matter" 

Sirius stopped asking questions after that, Remus seemed content in keeping the insult a secret. It bother him a tad he didn't know, but Remus hadjust helped him feel a lot better than he had in a while. So left it. 

James was still crouching behind some younger students, who had given up on trying to question his motives after being at school with the guy for five years. You learn to not ask. 

"Mr. Potter!?" Professor McGonagall was still looking for him, Sirius was highly amused that his hiding place was actually working. 

Whether the whole fight was not excitement enough, Alexei decided to emerge from the tree line, Unicorn in tow. It was small and skinny looking, magical rope round its neck before Dumbledore commanded him to release it immediately. 

Alexei groaned at the sight of Sirius and Lily, forced to settle for third place. He trudged over to a group of Durmstrang students who were looking at him welcoming, though secretly very miffed. 

The Unicorn proceeded to sprint back off into the forest, no doubt where the Thestrals had wandered too, by now. 

"C'mon, there's a speech waiting for us" Remus rolled his eyes, leading Sirius over to where Lily and Marlene had settled. 

He sat down, silently giving Lily a little side hug, which she looked appreciative for. 

"First and foremost" Dumbledore started, "I want to say _well done_ to our contestants, a difficult task they have tackled spectacularly. In first place we have, Miss Evans" 

Everyone from Hogwarts clapped profusely while Lily stepped over to the headmaster, putting on a crowd-friendly smile, carefully keeping her eyes away from the far corner of the field. 

"In second we have Mr Black" 

Beauxbatons cheered, as did Remus--quietly and out of view of course--joined by a sneaking James and newly arriving Peter. Sirius walked up to the front, basking in all the attention he was receiving, acting as if he didn't only care about one persons. 

"Third, Mr Alexei Maxim" 

Alexei didn't seem anywhere near as happy as the other two, reluctantly standing and not bothering to even grin, despite the knowing looks his headmaster was giving him. 

"Your places will effect you in the next round" Dumbledore spoke to them, Alexei's frown deepening, "We will inform a day prior, same as before," 

Various thank you's were shared and the trio left back to their respective huddles.

"This deserves a celebration!" James cheered as everyone walked back up to Gryffindor tower, "Party in an hour, common room!" He shouted towards the stairs full of people, getting lots of cheers in response. 

Sirius had never witnessed one of James Potter's famous parties before, but the buzz of excitement was sending off great impressions. 

"Pete, can you handle the.." He made a bottle figure with his hands, highly dramatic as there wasn't a teacher to be seen. 

"Yes James, I can handle the alcohol," Peter rolled his eyes, walking through the opened portrait. 

"I will get out my turntable, uhhh Remus can you move the furniture?" 

"Yes, make the crippled one move furniture" Remus scoffed, forgetting the confidentiality with Sirius for a moment. 

"estropié?" "Crippled?" Sirius asked, masked concern in his voice. 

Everyone' s eyes seemed to widen briefly, James coming up with an excuse, "Inside joke, haha" 

"Que?" "What?" 

"Gotta run!" Peter squeaked, making a hasty exit towards the kitchens. 

"Those sofas wont move themselves" Remus laughed, awkward as ever, walking away. 

"Oh boy, I must find that..." James trailed off, leaving Sirius alone and confused in the middle of a busy common room. 

"ARE WE HAVING FUN!?" James yelled later, stood on a coffee table. The common room was dark, pitch black in fact, various wands being the only light source. A record player was blasting some _Queen_ which everyone was dancing along merrily to. Peter had managed to snag some firewisky from the kitchens, so as it rounded to midnight everyone was getting rather tipsy. 

"You 'now wh- whut eye sai?" James slurred a bit further into the evening, sat on a sofa with Sirius, who hadn't been able to stop giggling since his third cup. 

"What" Remus sighed, he had been the designated sober friend, purely out of choice. 

"Why can't we-we just _blast_ 'e moon out the nigh' sky?" He threw his arms up like he had just discovered a way to covert electricity into water. 

"You do that, tell me how it goes" Remus spoke up over Sirius' giggles. It was hard to ignore how adorable he looked right now, all flushed and smiling. 

"Wi' do mooooony" 

"Right" He said, standing up, "You're pissed, we are going to the dorm" 

"BOOOOOOO" James threw his cup over the unconscious Peter. _Huh, when did that happen?_

"You'll thank me- umph- tomorrow" Remus said, hauling James and Sirius to their feet, wolfy strength coming in handy. 

"tu es si fort" Sirius sighed, relaxing into Remus' arm a bit. "You're so strong" 

"Er, right" He nudged open the door, throwing them both to the ground, "I'm getting water, _don't move"_

"Well you h've jus' parplised me!" James groaned, holing the arm he landed on. 

"You're not paralysed if you can feel what hurts, James" 

"'orry Mizster Doctor man!" James laughed, restarting Sirius' giggles. 

Remus just left, putting a locking charm on the door, slightly put out by Sirius' brief show of affection. 

_It was just an observation, you overthinking shitbag, being strong doesn't mean anything, there are plenty ugly strong guys. Unless it was a compliment, which it wasn't, because it isn't like that with Sirius....Hm I should probably retrieve Peter's body on the way back, people are using it as a drinks stand._

And Remus set off to the kitchens.


End file.
